How does a writer master SHOW and not tell?

[Karlee A. Etter]

I am still struggling to show instead of tell, so anyone and everyone out there -- I am quickly going bald ripping out my hair over "SHOW instead TELL!!!!!!" I know what it means intellectually but am REALLY stuggling to do it literally. Can anyone give me some CONCRETE examples of, or specific feedback of showing and not telling? Where and how do I learn and master "show not tell?" This is currently my biggest challenge and major frustration which seems to also be the only (or most current) hurdle I CAN'T overcome. ANY suggestions on where to go to master the greatest challenge to us unpublished writers? Is there such a support group here at this site or do I need to go elsewhere to find it? If so, where do I go?

Karlee Etter

[Judy Ridgley]

I'm here darlin'. Leave the hair alone!!!!!
Show...the h/h acting out the actions...think stage, what do you see them doing on stage
At times you have to Tell...just to get over a bridge from here to there
But still tell me how the planks creak, how the rope feels clammy to the grip, frigid water racing below and making the planks slippery, that the breeze from the flowing creek is freezing h/h cheeks. And don't forget the sway...the misstep. oops I almost fell off. It gets easer the more you work with this
J

[A.L.Debran]

This is certainly one of the challenges all authors face. Here's something I wrote. The reader needed to meet the deceased husband from the POV of the new man in the widow's life. I needed the new guy to be creeped out. I could have TOLD it like this: He saw the chair rocking, but it was empty. It scared the daylights out of him.

This is how I SHOWED it: "The chair was empty, but it kept rocking in a slow steady pace, the rockers making the wood-on-rock grinding noise he’d been hearing. His mouth went dry, the hair on the back of his neck tingled, and his hands broke out in a sweat. Unconsciously, he reached for his revolvers, but they were in the bedroom right alongside his Winchester. Hell’s Bells. He couldn’t shoot a ghost anyway.

[Karlee A. Etter]

Thanks, A.L. -- your concrete example helped.

Karlee

[A.L.Debran]

de nada :-)

[Cynthia Owens]

Here's another example, Karlee:

Tell:

She was jerked from her musings on the past as the door of the tearoom burst open, admitting a sudden gust of wind and drawing every eye to two dazzlingly handsome men standing there.

And here’s the “tell”:

A sudden gust of cool air rattled cups in their saucers and sent dainty napkins fluttering to the floor, jerking Katie from her musings on the past. Every eye flew to where two dazzlingly handsome men stood in the open doorway.

When showing, you have to put your readers in the story. Use the five senses. For instance, in a restaurant scene, make them see what your character is eating, smell the aromas of food and perfume and sweat, taste the delicious meal -- or the not-so-delicious one. Make them hear snippets of conversation at other tables, and feel the coolness of the cutlery in their hand, the soft crispness of a bread roll, the smoothness of the table linens.

Hope this helps.
Cynthia

[Karlee A. Etter]

Thanks Cynthia -- you gals are GREAT! I'll get the hang of it, I'm little closer now of getting it than I was yesterday. If anyone else has some helpful suggestions -- all are welcome -- the more the better. This sure is more fun and FAR better than paying a whole lot of money!

Thanks one and all (This thanks is also for future contributors)!
Karlee : )

[William Ramsay]

As one who has been criticized for "telling" innumerable times, I can sympathize. the examples A. L. Debran and Cynthia Owens gave are very good. Other ways of visualizing the problem are that "telling" always involves an abstraction from the reality, and the effort to "show" is to make things more concrete. People always want the details: if you say, "I saw a car hit a bicycle yesterday," you'll be asked, "What happened?" Then you'll say, it was a giant red S.U.V., and it came barreling down the big hill, around the curve, etc." A further guide in thinking about this is that the reader likes to figure things out, so the writer should try to set up a scene and give the reader clues as to what's going on, so that he/she can figure it out. In A. L.'s example, "His mouth went dry, the hair, etc." indicates indirectly to the reader that he's scared -- an effective use of description.