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The King Speaks
[King John, formely ruler of England (1199-1216), speaking from his vantage point on the Other Side, shares with us his candid opinions in this column]
They called me "Evil King John," "Bad King John"; I was betrayed by all my greedy, ambitious barons, calumnied by half-witted priest and monks loyal only to that schemer Pope Innocent. They tried to tie my hands with that absurd screed the Magna Carta, but in the end I would have defeated all of them -- if some sneaking traitor hadn't poisoned my wine cup. And then, most unfair of all, after passing some peaceful centuries in dignified retirement here on the Other Side, my enemies -- this time a gaggle of hysterical females -- succeeded, in a travesty of otherworldly justice, in imposing a humiliating sentence of servitude on me for the next eon or so.
Now, from my humble position in the service of the tsarina, I must try to overturn that malicious plan of revenge of those women and rebuild my power, starting with assembling a new court of prominent people to serve me in regaining my position of power. Today, I have it in mind to seek out Roger Mortimer, he earl of March, a man who himself dared much but came to an inglorious end [For Mortimer, see, for example, "The Queen's Lover"]. (True, March served as a judge in my first trial over here, but he essentially found in my favor, and I'm hopeful he can be relied on to share my goals and help me regain my dignity.
I have the makings of a plan -- I will regain my position.
They called me "Evil King John," "Bad King John"; I was betrayed by all my greedy, ambitious barons, calumnied by half-witted priest and monks loyal only to that schemer Pope Innocent. They tried to tie my hands with that absurd screed the Magna Carta, but in the end I would have defeated all of them -- if some sneaking traitor hadn't poisoned my wine cup. And then, most unfair of all, after passing some peaceful centuries in dignified retirement here on the Other Side, my enemies -- this time a gaggle of hysterical females -- succeeded, in a travesty of otherworldly justice, in imposing a humiliating sentence of servitude on me for the next eon or so.
Now, from my humble position in the service of the tsarina, I must try to overturn that malicious plan of revenge of those women and rebuild my power, starting with assembling a new court of prominent people to serve me in regaining my position of power. Today, I have it in mind to seek out Roger Mortimer, he earl of March, a man who himself dared much but came to an inglorious end [For Mortimer, see, for example, "The Queen's Lover"]. (True, March served as a judge in my first trial over here, but he essentially found in my favor, and I'm hopeful he can be relied on to share my goals and help me regain my dignity.
I have the makings of a plan -- I will regain my position.
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