How does a writer master SHOW and not tell?

[Karlee A. Etter]

I am still struggling to show instead of tell, so anyone and everyone out there -- I am quickly going bald ripping out my hair over "SHOW instead TELL!!!!!!" I know what it means intellectually but am REALLY stuggling to do it literally. Can anyone give me some CONCRETE examples of, or specific feedback of showing and not telling? Where and how do I learn and master "show not tell?" This is currently my biggest challenge and major frustration which seems to also be the only (or most current) hurdle I CAN'T overcome. ANY suggestions on where to go to master the greatest challenge to us unpublished writers? Is there such a support group here at this site or do I need to go elsewhere to find it? If so, where do I go?

Karlee Etter

[Judy Ridgley]

I'm here darlin'. Leave the hair alone!!!!!
Show...the h/h acting out the actions...think stage, what do you see them doing on stage
At times you have to Tell...just to get over a bridge from here to there
But still tell me how the planks creak, how the rope feels clammy to the grip, frigid water racing below and making the planks slippery, that the breeze from the flowing creek is freezing h/h cheeks. And don't forget the sway...the misstep. oops I almost fell off. It gets easer the more you work with this
J

[A.L.Debran]

This is certainly one of the challenges all authors face. Here's something I wrote. The reader needed to meet the deceased husband from the POV of the new man in the widow's life. I needed the new guy to be creeped out. I could have TOLD it like this: He saw the chair rocking, but it was empty. It scared the daylights out of him.

This is how I SHOWED it: "The chair was empty, but it kept rocking in a slow steady pace, the rockers making the wood-on-rock grinding noise he’d been hearing. His mouth went dry, the hair on the back of his neck tingled, and his hands broke out in a sweat. Unconsciously, he reached for his revolvers, but they were in the bedroom right alongside his Winchester. Hell’s Bells. He couldn’t shoot a ghost anyway.

[Karlee A. Etter]

Thanks, A.L. -- your concrete example helped.

Karlee

[A.L.Debran]

de nada :-)

[Cynthia Owens]

Here's another example, Karlee:

Tell:

She was jerked from her musings on the past as the door of the tearoom burst open, admitting a sudden gust of wind and drawing every eye to two dazzlingly handsome men standing there.

And here’s the “tell”:

A sudden gust of cool air rattled cups in their saucers and sent dainty napkins fluttering to the floor, jerking Katie from her musings on the past. Every eye flew to where two dazzlingly handsome men stood in the open doorway.

When showing, you have to put your readers in the story. Use the five senses. For instance, in a restaurant scene, make them see what your character is eating, smell the aromas of food and perfume and sweat, taste the delicious meal -- or the not-so-delicious one. Make them hear snippets of conversation at other tables, and feel the coolness of the cutlery in their hand, the soft crispness of a bread roll, the smoothness of the table linens.

Hope this helps.
Cynthia

[Karlee A. Etter]

Thanks Cynthia -- you gals are GREAT! I'll get the hang of it, I'm little closer now of getting it than I was yesterday. If anyone else has some helpful suggestions -- all are welcome -- the more the better. This sure is more fun and FAR better than paying a whole lot of money!

Thanks one and all (This thanks is also for future contributors)!
Karlee : )

[William Ramsay]

As one who has been criticized for "telling" innumerable times, I can sympathize. the examples A. L. Debran and Cynthia Owens gave are very good. Other ways of visualizing the problem are that "telling" always involves an abstraction from the reality, and the effort to "show" is to make things more concrete. People always want the details: if you say, "I saw a car hit a bicycle yesterday," you'll be asked, "What happened?" Then you'll say, it was a giant red S.U.V., and it came barreling down the big hill, around the curve, etc." A further guide in thinking about this is that the reader likes to figure things out, so the writer should try to set up a scene and give the reader clues as to what's going on, so that he/she can figure it out. In A. L.'s example, "His mouth went dry, the hair, etc." indicates indirectly to the reader that he's scared -- an effective use of description.

[Suzann Ledbetter Ellingsworth]

Hi Karlee--
It seems nigh universal that writers envision movies playing in their heads when writing scenes. That's great . . . except the view is usually from a director's chair (or God). That's where 'tell' sneaks in: the writer's observational point of view.

To shift into "show" mode, train yourself to see the mental movie strictly via the lead actor's eyes (taste, touch, smell, hearing, knowledge) , i.e., the scene's POV character. It isn't necessarily easy, but doable. It also alleviates straying from the scene's POV character into another character's domain-- a twofer!

It isn't possible to show everything. Tell isn't an anathema. Show all you can and tell when you must makes for stronger, clearer, active writing.

[William Klein]

Karlee,

In depth character development---the people you really get to know in a novel reveal themselves by what they do, and not so much by what you the writer (narrator) tells the reader.

Look at it this way. In a play, you watch the characters on stage act out their lines, and from what they say and do on the stage, you get to know them. IN A PLAY IT'S ALL "SHOW" There's no "telling" by the playwright. But How boring it would be if the playwright jumped on the stage and announced that he was going to explain the behavior of the characters to you and the audience.

The audience would not tolerate that sort of thing. "Oh, get off the stage, Mr. Playwright. We can figure out what the actors are saying...by what they're doing and saying to one another. We don't need you to tell us

Well, the same thing applies to writing a novel You are the novelists ( the playwright), you are doing the narrating...but get out of the way, or your readers (the audience) , unable to shout you down, will simply close your book, throw it on the floor, muttering that it was a lousy boring novel......Get out of the way and let the characters speak for themselves, thus revealing themselves without being told by the interfering writer...

Sure, you'll have to describe a dress, a smile, the weather (that's telling).........but let the characters act out their roles.....leave them alone....let them show by what they actually do, thus revealing their true natures..

See my blog at http://wklein722.blogspot.com

Bill